Having been potentially one of the world's slackest bloggers; this week I'm back with a flesh ripping vengeance. To make up for the lack of updates in... ages slightly less devastating for you I'm giving you a bonus update for free and gratis!
On a personal note I have had some good news recently which will appear in this blog in the fullness of time.
Zombies
Well, that's why we're here after all isn't it?
Two new zombie scenarios for you.
1: Zombie in the garden.
A Shaun of the Dead inspired scenario for you - a zombie is wandering around in the back garden, it looks very... drunk.What can you do to protect yourself from this hellbeast and dispatch it swiftly? Not vinyl records or mug trees; they're fairly ineffective.
You have 2 options:
Option A: TO THE SHED!
Can you leg it past the gurgling menace and get into the shed and find a weapon fairly sharpish? Depends on how big your garden is and if you have a means of temporarily restraining the zombie (methods could include running quickly around it with the washing line Scooby-Doo style, holding up a bed sheet and walking slowly pretending to be laundry or just groaning and limping (CAUTION: This might not work if the zombies have a keen sense of smell; this is very difficult to determine unless you have any 'volunteers'))
Option B: To the arsenal.
Of course, being a keen zombie-survivalist you have already prepared the arsenal listed on my Amazon store for just this kind of eventuality. With this little lot you can either hole yourself up and wait for the whole thing to blow over of go charging into the garden all tooled up and polish off the threat forthwith using one of the following methods:
Higher function destroying blood Infection:
Put on your mask, goggles and potentially the hazmat suit if you have time before the zombie gets in. My method for this one would be sneak up if possible and use the nail gun at the top of the spine base of the neck; should kill or at least stop use of the body. Plus the nail gun has a fairly quiet fire so there's little chance you'll alert any nearby fiends. Just to be doubly sure make sure to double tap (also; for extra tips you should watch Zombieland if you haven't already).
Risen from the dead:
As previously discussed - you don't have to worry so much about blood infection; it's just dying (or sometimes being bitten) that causes a problem. With this method you just need to destroy the base of the brain or the brain stem. Baseball bat or spade will do the job if you're strong; if not go with the axe and separate the neck and the head.
Rage Infected / Fast moving zombies:
If it's still in the garden you're probably not looking at a rage infected spook. They tend to come flying through windows all teeth and tearing. If one is wandering around in the garden it probably has lost all of its senses by having its eyes, ears, nose or all of the above destroyed. You probably still don't want to get too close so it may be advisable to pull back the safety on the nail gun and go hurtling a nail across the garden into its brain - careful though: I hear the hospitals are a little busy right now and you probably don't want to have to go there; the meal might be on you.
Thanks for reading; thanks to those of you that keep clicking the ads - the more material I get the better so please keep the ideas coming in... Update 2 with the second zombie scenario coming in the next 30 minutes!
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