Super Special Update: Zombie on Platform 2

You're at the station. Litter twirls gently in the breeze. There's a man slumped down in the corner, he looks like a drunk. There is a pungent odor emanating from him. He smells a bit like rancid meat.

Definitely drunk - he's making that unmistakable groaning. That's it he must be drunk; not undead. That just doesn't happen does it? I mean really, who'd even consider....

Oh, he's getting up. And he's got his lower jaw slung with bloody saliva and a look of determined hunger in his eyes. You on the other hand are calm and collected. You're ready and I'm going to tell you for why.

Not the correct method - just an awesome image!

Zombies are only scary if you're unprepared. But you, my dear reader, have been waiting for this. Since the first time you read the blog you've been waiting to put the zombie toss into action. This, right here, is your time to shine!

You've played Dead Rising and it's as easy as moving a stick. In the real world it's a teeny bit more complicated.

Here's a blow by blow account of how to launch that dead head onto the tracks while not turning yourself into wormfood.

Step 1:

Make sure you can see the zombie at all times. An invisible threat is the worst threat of all.

Step 2:

Make space between you and the edge of the platform - you don't want to plummet to your death.

Step 3:

Wait for the zombie to lunge at you before making your move. You will use his own weight and strength against him, how else are you going to throw someone who weighs more than you?

Step 4:

As he lunges roll with it. You need to make sure none of that energy is wasted if you want to throw him clear of you. If you waste it he's going to end up on top of you eating your brains.

Step 5:

Grip at the wrist and collar pushing back the free arm with your elbow. This will control the zombie and stop them grabbing and biting you.

Step 6:

Swing your elbow to under the other armpit as you turn away from the zombie and squat slightly. This squatting motion should bring the zombie around your body and take them off their feet.

Step 7:

Pull the wrist across your body and this will drop the zombie to the floor. You should be aiming to lob them onto the tracks below.

Step 8:

If you missed the tracks get the boot in and go for a roll, just be careful of being grabbed!


Finally:
Thank you so much to all 200 of my Twitter followers, you are truly great and your interest in this blog will stand you in good stead when the time comes to counteract the zombie menace.

Thanks for telling your friends and clicking the ads so I can buy books (Zombies for Zombies by David P. Murphy) and DVDs (Dead Snow £2.99) to serve you better.

Remember though, if you're bit, you mean nothing to me.

Keep watching the graveyards,
Al